Well this is not a new theme in my life, I can’t sleep yet again since I became unemployed I seem to have switched my life around meaning I sleep during the day and then I’m up all night not that I’m not productive at night I get a lot of writing done.. Your thoughts don’t stop as long as your awake. Okay maybe not a lot of writing and more watching of TV/surfing the internet. I like the quiet I get at night. the phone won’t ring, mom won’t knock on the door.
I can just breathe and be alone with my thoughts not always a good thing because, they don’t always help my situation.. tonight though all my thoughts are on how much I love to dance and how since I’ve gained weight I haven’t really done a lot of it.. Maybe I’ll rectify that tomorrow put some dance music on and just move.. It’s from watching all these dance shows that the desire is back, not to do it publicly just to get up and move. I’ve realized that everything happens for a reason and I’ve decided that me being let go from work was God’s way of stopping me from hurting myself I was a workaholic would do whatever was asked of me and where did that get me no where but stressed and tired and without a social life. I worked so much that church wasn’t even a factor in my daily living it was eat sleep work and not necessarily in that order there was no balance there still isn’t really but this time I’m hoping that I don’t feel that incessant need to think that I have to do it all, I am only but one person.
Okay back to the dance thing, like I said it’s come back due to all the dance shows I’ve been watching especially this Australian Show Dance Academy if you haven’t watched it, you can find it on YouTube. I’ve also realized that I use to be more passionate about a lot of things before I became a full fledge workaholic, besides dance I liked to play basketball, read, photography, sing, write, just was more involved in life in general. I would like to change that before my next bday maybe once I have money in my pocket I can sign up for something or just do something anything,
I’ve already started the writing thing again so that’s a start and I’m sure the photography thing will kick in on this road trip, I’m acting like it’s happening that’s faith that’s what my Pastor, Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyers say I should do prepare as it will happen and all the pieces will fall into place.. Dad will lend me his car, the money will fall into place, I will find a nice dress for the wedding, and we will all survive this family bonding moment.. well that’s where my head is at for today..
Take Care and God Bless