Part 2 of My Life: contd.
Because of dad being disabled I was able to get the full amount allotted to me for college from OSAP and if I was to graduate then half of that loan would be forgiven. So I went to school determined to break the cycle of poverty. I did great my first semester but the problems from home followed me to school. The adage that your problems follow you where ever you go is true anyways.
I was going to school full time and doing great but I was sending money home whenever I could to help my Dad and brother live, When I would go home to visit I would buy groceries because they didn’t have any. etc. My boyfriend at the time would let me stay at his house because he knew there wasn’t any food at mine. I don’t know why it got this bad my dad’s health got worse and my brother starting having his own issues which I won’t discuss as they are his and he will beat me down if I do lol joke.
College was not my way out, I started having my own issues which caused me to decide to not complete my degree in ECE (I hated it and didn’t want to be one after placement) and try something else the following year. Add to that my personal life was not getting better it was getting worse and it just compounded in my 2nd year causing me to be asked to leave. Unlike my family there was no fight in me and I left and haven’t gone back.
One of my biggest regrets from those years and ongoing is having too much pride to ask for help. I did go see a counselor a couple of months before I was asked to leave and was diagnosed as special needs. They knew something was wrong and did offer me the chance to defend myself to the dean. I didn’t call them and see if something could have been done to salvage my education. I went from a straight A/B honour student in my first year to failing out of college.
So the next couple of years are a series of me trying to get ahead I have had many jobs, moved many of places and keeping being beat down again and again but I’m resilient and I don’t give up.
I don’t have addictions but I have had issues w/Depression caused by broken relationships/stress and I also have other health issues that are recognized as disabilities (migraines, IBS, Asthma, Situational Depression) but I refuse to go on Disability as long as my brain still works. So I have had a pattern where I work at a job for a year or two health starts to get worse then it compounds into me getting fired, in which case I end up on unemployment sometimes for short periods, sometimes longer. I’ve always been able to prove that my ending of my unemployment was unjust and get unemployment.
In the past 15 yrs I have worked 12 yrs and have had 3 separate gaps of a year off I’m on my 3rd gap of a year right now. This is the first time that I have left a job and It was not due to medical reasons which I shouldn’t sound so proud of but me being unemployed has not been for a lack of trying.
I have only had 2 jobs in those 15 yrs making more than minimum wage. My last job being one of them. I’m proud of what I’ve overcome but believe me do I wish I would have done more with my life heck yeah.
So I left college lived on my own for several years in various locations then when I lost my job in T.O. I moved home to live with my Dad where he relocated to after finally winning his Pension settlement in 1999. He built a house W/his settlement. I did not move home and mooch off of him I contribute 1/2 to the household, because although he had a settlement he still had other legal issues to contend w/dealing with family.
*Word of warning make sure your wishes are clear and get everything in writing in triplicate if need be and no matter if you think that it’s family they won’t screw me “GET IT IN WRITING”. My dad’s family contested my ma-mere’s will before she was even Dead and were fighting w/Dad about that till last year.
So I lived with him for 5 years we tried to start a business of repairing computers and reselling computers/internet cafe that didn’t succeed not enough of a demand where we lived. Also attempted to go back to school in this time but was scammed by a correspondence course. So I worked as a Baker at the local grocery store and contributed to my Dad’s household.
It was a small town with no life to it, and I was tired of it after living in a City so I moved to where I live now and moved in with my mom in an attempt to finally get out of debt and accomplish some goals and have been living w/her for 4 years in October.
When people ask why don’t you live on your own because over the last 2 years I could have well done so, but I come from the school of thought that you don’t allow your parents to suffer well your living high on the hog. My mom is no longer a DSW and is now working a part time job that pays minimal and does not allow her to live on her own independently okay well in a place that I would consider suitable (tired of seeing her live in dumps when I live in palaces in comparison) She does not live off of me, she contributes what she can and I look after the rest of the bills and in trade she does the majority of the cleaning and cooking when I’m employed. Of course because i’m not employed I have been contributing to the household in regards to the cooking.
So that’s my basic history and why I’m trying so hard to get a head and break the cycle I still believe that I will accomplish my dreams I’m going to get a degree, get out of debt and buy a house. Not to sure about the car anymore because with the price of gas I’m quite content with taking the bus.
I’m doing it the hard way with hard work I’m trying to do it before I get in a marriage so I don’t carry my debts in with me. I don’t see it get any better in regards to my parents my Dad’s health is not getting better and he is fighting a new fight again with his Pension. Mom health is getting bad from the hard work that she has done over the years. She does not have a retirement plan in place and will probably be living with me for the foreseeable future. She has irons in the fire, but until then I don’t have a problem looking after my mom and if need be Dad too.
I was raised to believe that you honour your parents. I do, my parents have been there for me just as much as I have been there for them so if I am able to help them financially without causing harm to my own family that is what I will do.
I have a brother but he has his own family to contend with so I will probably be the caregiver if anything were to happen. My dad has remarried, so she will look after him. ( I would think)
In the 15 years my credit went to horrible to not bad and I was thisclose to be able to getting a loan to get my student loan and other debts gone but I’m glad I didn’t go that route because I would be in even more debt then I was before.
So next entry is point form of my what I think I have learned about money thus far and what needs to change.
Part 3 contd in next entry.