stay tuned this is a woman on the move who is tired of living a life of excuses and is going to do something about it, whatever it takes (nothing that breaks my moral code of course) My life, my struggles to get out of debt, getting healthy and not knowing what's next. trying to figure it all out. anyway I can

Posts tagged ‘cleaning’

And so the Gutting begins..

Okay, so I have 4 more days off and so far it’s been great I have had some really great meals w/friends and family, spent some great quality time with my parents. and am now in the phase I would like to call “gutting my room” Yesterday started with organizing my hope chest which really I should just call my “craft chest” because that’s what’s in there. But today is the hard yards organizing my closet and my bookshelves, it’s going to be tough to not let sentimentality come into play but it needs to be done there is no room in my closet for anything. It’s time to get rid of the things holding me back no use keeping clothes I’m never going to fit in again because I’m never going to be 200lbs again ever.. and thanks to the product that I’ve been consistently taking I’m going to be able to get to my goal weight this year. 40lbs to go. God is working, has been all the time.. Bring on 2012 this is going to be the best year yet.. can’t wait so excited for it.

Take care and God Bless

Tina Marie


Weekend Mission: Eradicate weevils and other updates

Update time:

Well since we last talked I believe I mentioned that I got a temp job for the rest of the week well that has since been extended to include an additional week possibly two.  Yeah this means that I will have my rent money and shock of all shocks I will be able to pay some bills.  As per norm not giving up and by no means am ready to settle.  This job is relatively easy mentally, not extremely stressful but I am not sure if I am up to the challenge physically which is why I have only agreed to it temporarily and am continuing to pray that I hear back from an office position soon.

This week was extremely productive for me and had some surprises as well it felt great to get back out there and have something to do on a daily basis I really do like working, I forgot how much I did.  But once I was back out there in public and socializing with coworkers and clients it felt great.  I love having a purpose for waking up.  I have enjoyed my time off got a lot of things accomplished and sometimes feel like I should have used my time more wisely but the things I did do this year  helped my relationships grow, and my self to be more ready for what is coming up in the years to come.

Okay so what happened this weekend:

Well I had a leadership meeting for my church on Saturday with an amazing couple of men from Continuum Ministries, (check them out they have an amazing story too long to put here, but the gist of it is this)  25 years or so ago Al Purvis and his Wife decided that they were going to do mission work and they decided on Thailand because of all the orphans that were left in the wake after the Vietnam War.  So they moved there with their 3 children and opened an orphanage where they preceded to adopt over 20 children and grow an international ministry.  Amazing inspiring organization and people.  Every time I meet someone from my church family I am continually amazed at how down to earth these people are even though they are doing tremendous work and in some cases extremely wealthy.   I always feel like although I am not doing what they are that we are still on the same level and that is a great feeling to have towards your leaders.

So Al spoke on leadership and the role we should have in Ministry and in life it was great and as per norm I took tons of notes.  The main thing that I took from it is that leaders have to allow the people that they choose to put in roles perform their roles without interference from yourself.  In other words if  you trust your people to do the job that you put them into, let them do it and don’t micromanage them well they are.  Defeats the purpose of appointing and delegating roles within your life/company.  There is lots that was learned but that is the main one and one that I have had great difficulty in many of my jobs is managers that don’t know how to let go and let the people that they have hired do the job they were hired to do.

After the meeting we had a barbecue first one of the spring/summer for me and some fellowship/socializing where we sang songs and chatted it was great to get out and be among friends doesn’t happen a lot for me so when I can I enjoy it.

That was Saturday morning early afternoon.  The rest of my afternoon was to be spent cleaning my room okay demolishing my room and vacuuming everything my bed all parts etc.  Why you ask well about a week or so ago I noticed this little bugs crawling on my walls and my bed and it was annoying me so I looked it up on the lovely internet and found out they were harmless to humans but do like to live in food (like wheat), they were weevils.  So my mission for Saturday afternoon was to eradicate the weevils from my room so I could stop feeling like they were crawling on me.  Which they have been several times this week.  So I moved my bed out took the linens off vacuumed the mattress, the box spring the frame, the hot water rad, baseboards and washed the walls.

I was in the process of doing this, looking like crap and we get a lovely unexpected surprise my bro who lives several hours away (4 to be exact) is in town and is wondering if we want to spend time with the kids.  So of course because me and mom haven’t seen the kids since Jan. We definitely did not want to miss that opportunity, so eradicating weevils was put on hold for a couple of hours well I visited with my niece and nephews (only 3 of them were with him so I will have to wait to see my other 2 nieces for another time).  It was a quick visit (2 Hrs) but sometimes that is all you truly need to catch up and show some love and at one point my 7 year old nephew was helping me with my room.  Mom took them to the park, bro showed up then they were gone it was short but it made mom’s year.  She is extremely close to her grandchildren and usually sees them at least once a month, and has never missed a birthday till this year.  With me not working the money wasn’t there for her go as often so she’s been missing them as much as they have been missing us.

So they left and I was back on my mission got that completed, sort of then spent the rest of the evening talking with my mom till we realized that my bed still wasn’t together so she helped me do that.  I love my room now it’s so bright pics to come because my bedroom is not completely done and I am too ashamed for before pics because it looks like a tornado hit but after definitely coming.

Sunday was my disconnect from the world day but I cheated a bit by watching an amazing series online from Northpoint ministries on Love, Sex and Dating from a Christian viewpoint and has inspired my post about my faith this week.. I have been prompted to write it but am afraid because it’s an extremely personal one for me but the way I am looking at is if I can talk about my money and my depression and my self esteem/weight issues oh and my unemployment then I should also be able to share my faith in whatever aspect that may be.  They are all parts of me and I promised that I would not censor myself on this blog and hide who I am so I am going to be completely honest on the post about my choices on how I live my life in relation to Love, Sex, and Dating.

So the rest of the day was spent reading and getting ready for church, went to church came home and talked with mom again.  Today I have spent most of the day vegging, for some reason I like cleaning in the evening so I will blog for afternoon then I will clean (fold clothes/laundry) in the evening and get ready for my temp job tomorrow 6am comes early.

So I will try to update you through the week as usual continue to pray/keep me in your thoughts for me to gain stability in my finances/job/life.

Thank you and God Bless

Tina Marie

Progress on cleanse, Productive weekend.

Whoa man did I ever have a productive weekend my room has been officially gutted now to get all the stuff out of the apartment and down the 39 stairs.

Was realizing that should have took before and afters you would never have believed it was the same room oh well at least it’s organized.

Day 3 of cleanse almost done looking forward to another great night of learning at Church tonight.  Excited to see everyone even though it’s only been a week.  Thanks for those that were there for me, it was a rough one but I’m here and I may not know my future but at least I know who holds it.

So yeah I’m on another month normally some people do this cleanse for a month to detoxify and they are right as rain. I am planning on doing this particular cleanse for 6 months that’s how long it may take for my system to start acting like it’s supposed to instead of misbehaving.   What I mean by that is I have IBS and it has ruled my life for the past 5 years and before that if we look into my history it’s seems to have been an ongoing issue since I hit puberty a lot of my illness and allergies hit when I hit puberty.  Doc’s don’t know why their explanation is that it’s probably due to the fact that most women illness are hormonally based which is why puberty tends to be the trigger that worsens symptoms.  Well conventional methods of treating IBS have done more harm then good and so I’m trying this and so far I am loving it.

I have more energy before the idea of cleaning would have thrown me into a tailspin but nope I have gutted my whole room in a matter of a couple of days, no not straight but a task that would normally have taken me a month or so only really took me a couple of days to do.  I’m sleeping better, meaning that when I do get to bed, I sleep soundly, and not intermittent sleep which is very nice.  I wake up rested.  Which means I am not tired during the day and have stopped napping.

I’m eating more then I was before because I’m actually learning my body’s cue and listening to it and feeding it when it tell me that I am hungry so I am eating more on this then I did previously I was the queen of the one meal a day before because I wasn’t hungry or I was too busy to eat (when I worked).  Also because of the IBS didn’t want to eat in public in case there were adverse effects to what I had ate.

Now I eat 3 times a day and snacks and I am drinking tons of water, another thing I have had a problem with.  So far I am loving this and my IBS well not completely gone it has toned down a bit.  However when I do eat things that are bad for me like I did before I went back on the cleanse Poutine with Dad on Thurs and then someone treated us to KFC on Fri.  My body tells me that it doesn’t like it by sweating it out and getting rid of it.

Okay what your probably really wondering is if I’ve lost weight well I haven’t been on a scale I can tell you that I can now fit in to jeans I had 10years ago that are a size 12/14. I am now pulling on my jeans like jogging pants.  the bloat is gone from my stomach and I don’t have that puffy feeling I used to have. I see my shape again and not just fat.  I can’t wait to get on a scale because I think I’ve lost another 10 pounds I hope which would mean I’m well on my way to my 70pd goal.  Hopefully by adding the exercise this month that the pounds will come off as well as I will get toned at the same time, so I will start to see shape and muscle yeah.  I’m doing it all without going to a gym (no money)  I’m hoping to post a before picture very soon and another one  after the first month and follow from there so you can see the progress as I do.

This week now that the room is clean and I’m not focussed on that is to focus on growing my side businesses, and getting a job.  I have decided that if I’m not employed by the 8th of April by my own means that I am going to go get a job at the call centre in the interim till I can find a job(up my alley)that I will be satisfied at this for now (not a long term solution).  I look at is as the lesser of two evils.

No offence to those that work in a call center but it is the kind of job that I can put in my time and leave it there when my shift is over which means I won’t be expending much energy.  Which means I’ll have more energy to concentrate on growing the side businesses and because the bills are being paid the stress will be gone which means I will be able to just maybe take more risks.

So for now so bills can get paid and I can have some benefits I will be hopefully getting a job in the call center now if they won’t hire me I am really going to think there is something wrong with me.  I will continue to apply for jobs while working there but I will be able to get back on track with bills and even just maybe start paying down my debt.  It’s not the worst thing I can definitely think of worse things to be doing.

So that’s the plan for this week:

  • JOB
  • Grow Side Business (talk to 10 peoples about business)
  • Sign up for some freelance bids
  • Blog/(Still debating about domain $17 can’t afford right now, nope not kidding)
  • Get stuff that I’m getting rid of out of the apartment (39 stairs x 10, yeah there’s some of my exercise for the week)
  • Exercise start working out using ball at least 3 times this week, go for a walk at least 3 times this week. start lifting weights (that I borrowed 3 months ago)
  • Continue on cleanse (if interested let me know and I’ll provide the website privately)
  • Spend more time reading and less time watching.
  • Continue with my courses/upgrading skills.
  • Continue to live one day at a time
  • Enjoy the rest of my time that I have off because it is over very shortly.

Also one more thing thinking of become public if for nothing so that I truly have no more secrets in my life. what do you guys think Public or anonymous?

Spring cleaning has begun..

Another great weekend got a lot accomplished still more to do, purging the past is very cathartic needed to do time to move on into my future. Cleaned out my closet, got rid a ton of old papers and letters and stuff. tomorrow task is my shelves.  I forgot to take a before pic of my closet or the ensuing disaster that occurred when I emptied all the contents of the closet into the room.   I could show the after I guess.

That’s how I clean I empty the object in it’s entirety then I sort then, I purge, yep I watched a lot of home organization shows.  You won’t see me on hoarders.  Clutter Anonymous maybe but not hoarders, I have no space for my stuff and mom’s well she has the rest of the apartment lol.  She wants me though to move my books into the living room.  Because well they are Christian living books from this decade.  Hers not so much think 70’s and 80’s.   Wants our guests to think were up to date.  ( what guests, I’m not sure mom and I aren’t very social, like our space)

Starting on Day 20 tomorrow of cleanse, I say that because well I cheated tonight, wanted chips had crackers oh well new day tomorrow, not going to beat myself up over some crackers and tuna. teach me to wait so late to eat, oh that and denying a craving.  If you want something eat it in small quantities better then trying to find a substitute as I did.  I wanted chips should have just had chips.

A lot of great stuff is happening and no longer have fear as to what is next. Bring it on I’m ready.

I am still dealing with my emotions over someone close to me life imploding around them, but unfortunately bringing myself down with them won’t help me especially since I’m helpless and can do nothing but support them through it and show them that there is and will be some good of this.  I have to hold onto that belief.

My life is on the upswing well somewhat financially anyways.  I have had some great turns of events in some areas I ended up getting a portion of my income tax return back,  ( I haven’t got any $ from income tax for over 5 years they have been taking it for defaulted Student Loan even though I was making regular payments) so this was huge it shows me how close I am to being finished.  I won’t end up with as small as a debt owing as I would like but this money, right now is great timing.  I made $200 on my side job well I earned it, it hasn’t been paid yet but it will be by end of month or 1st week of April.  Found out my E.I. is being paid a little longer then I expected which means a little more breathing room to get a JOB!!.  and more money coming so no stresses about paying rent and all the bills are being paid (not in full yet, but they are getting money on them)(my bills, not mom’s) and we can use Mom’s income tax for something fun like this amazing conference at the end of April for my Church.. It’s a women’s conference and it’s being held here.

Yes I know, and she knows we should/can be doing other things with the money but this is Mom’s treat to me and she feels I need this to recharge my batteries before I get back into the grind of the working world again.

Some people might disagree with her thought processes considering that I have been on several trips this year, but this year at times has been more stressful then working at a job, not knowing, not being healthy all the time and just the constant rejection and defeat that has happened.  My self esteem till as of late was in the dumps and at points I did sink into a depression.  So this trip is to be my launching pad into my new life of being employed and not to sound cheesy becoming the me I am supposed to be.

Looking really forward to it besides where it is being held there is going to be a Princess Ball where we get to get dressed up in ball gowns and eat great food and possibly win some great prizes and just be in the companionship of some really great women.

Start my online courses again going to keep on top of my skills and try to learn some new ones.  Best part it’s free, got them when I applied for a employment agency.  Didn’t get the job but I got access to all these great courses don’t give you any credits but it will give me knowledge so that’s great.

So yep another busy week between cleaning, courses, job search and life.  I’m a busy gal and that’s okay with me.

I’m going to learn to schedule posts for the weekend.  Lots going on in this little head. don’t know if it’s because of this past week or that finally the fog is lifting.  Whatever it is I like it and I can live with this kind of momentum if it means things are changing.  I’m tired of standing still.

Thank you and God Bless

Tina Marie.

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