stay tuned this is a woman on the move who is tired of living a life of excuses and is going to do something about it, whatever it takes (nothing that breaks my moral code of course) My life, my struggles to get out of debt, getting healthy and not knowing what's next. trying to figure it all out. anyway I can

Posts tagged ‘goals’

And so the Gutting begins..

Okay, so I have 4 more days off and so far it’s been great I have had some really great meals w/friends and family, spent some great quality time with my parents. and am now in the phase I would like to call “gutting my room” Yesterday started with organizing my hope chest which really I should just call my “craft chest” because that’s what’s in there. But today is the hard yards organizing my closet and my bookshelves, it’s going to be tough to not let sentimentality come into play but it needs to be done there is no room in my closet for anything. It’s time to get rid of the things holding me back no use keeping clothes I’m never going to fit in again because I’m never going to be 200lbs again ever.. and thanks to the product that I’ve been consistently taking I’m going to be able to get to my goal weight this year. 40lbs to go. God is working, has been all the time.. Bring on 2012 this is going to be the best year yet.. can’t wait so excited for it.

Take care and God Bless

Tina Marie

I’m a Mom!!

One of the reasons I disappeared from the radar besides well honestly lack of desire to blog.

Not because I didn’t have tons to share just with the job I’m doing I’m brain fried on most days after work and the idea of sitting at the computer and coming up with words of what and how my life was progressing just seemed to daunting.   So in typical “Tina Marie” fashion I avoided and delayed and procrastinated till it just seem like too daunting of a task to become a daily blogger again.

Which I have never professed to be,  anyways I miss it.   I miss expressing myself using my words even if only one person is reading it a day, it’s not about my audience it’s about getting my thoughts, feelings and emotions out of my brain so that it clears up space for more productive things like life.

Okay so what’s been happening well contract was extended again to end of November and hopefully by mid November I find out if I’m extended to end of January.   Which it is 85% certain it will be and probably longer which would suit me fine.   The longer that I have stable employment the likelier that my next plan of action can be put into place.

Okay so the title what’s that all about well about a month ago my mom came home from a trip from visiting friends with a little surprise.   I was not overjoyed at this surprise as we had discussed on several occasions that I didn’t want the responsibility, nor did I think that I could handle the responsibility.   So we had put on the back burner the idea of adding any other additional members to our family till we became more stable financially and till we had a bigger house and not an apartment.

Well what could you do when your mom tells you this heartbreaking story about how this little furball was caught up in a fishing net up to her neck in the cold wet outdoors and that if she didn’t rescue it and take her home she would have surely died a horrible death at the exposure of the elements and not being able to protect herself.

So now I am a proud “mommy” to a furchild kitten Precious Princess ( not my choice, mom named her as she was a “Precious gift from God”, so the name stays) I call her “P” when mom isn’t looking lol.    She was 6 weeks old when mom found her ( we think) so she’s 2 months now.

Well I could make this whole entry about her and all her antics,  but I will not be turning this blog into to the Precious blog.   Her daily exploits lets just say as much as she has brought joy she has some personality quirks that are little exasperating at the moment..  Like she has an issue with biting and scratching, she thinks she is playing but it hurts and my hands look I’ve been in attack,  full of scratches.

She has also given me something that I know I’ve been lacking and that something to nurture and love I forgot how much I missed having a pet, especially a cat.. I love it and so glad mom brought her home..  Okay enough about her back to me.

So that’s what’s going on, on the work front, on the rest of the fronts in my personal life well it’s been a bit of a roller coaster.  Lots of personal stuff that I’m not at liberty to share but I hate when my family members are in pain and there is nothing you can do for them but be there.  So I’ve had to deal with that which has been hard to see this family member go through what they are going through and not being able to fix it and no that I can’t that it’s a journey they have to go through on their own.

So yeah I have a lot on my plate right now and some of it I want gone and am doing something about it.

Starting with well as well as blogging break that was both self imposed and unplanned.  I also did a fast from TV, Twitter and Movies for a month Twitter for 4o days I just felt I need that break and it was a way to get clarity.  I allowed myself to watch Masterchef and Xfactor during that time period but nothing like Drama’s or Prime Time TV.. I did break it a couple of times when I went to the movies on my friends bday and when I watched movies w/Dad when he came to town but for the most part I stuck to it.    You would think that would leave me more time for reading but I don’t know lately reading is like torture to me I can’t get into it which is really strange when you consider I used to read like 3 books, 5 magazines a week on top of email and blogs.   So it’s a little strange to lose my first love..   I’m determined to get it back because I have a ton of great things to read, including my friends neglected blogs I feel disconnected with not reading their blogs and talking on twitter I have no idea what’s going on in their lives and now I have to start to reconnect again and hope it’s not to late.

So if I haven’t been reading or watching TV what the heck have I been doing well I have been socializing more by getting out I went to a great conference at the end of September which I plan on doing a couple blogs about.  I’ve been visiting and getting out more mainly with my Dad who I have been building a better relationship with.  Also doing a lot of talking w/mom.  I’m attending bible study and church on a regular basis.  I’m just becoming more rounded instead of living in my room.. Also confession time I have spent whole evenings just watching my kitten and her antics and playing with her.  I’ve also rediscovered my other passion Game playing, back to playing my Hidden Object/Adventure Games.

So life is pretty full, but it’s still not productive so in November I’m starting to do something I haven’t done in a while because I stepped on a scale and am proud that just by doing Isagenix and changing my eating habits that I have managed to lose 33 pounds since January but I know that I could have done better and showed it more if I had put an exercise plan into this as well so I’m going to start exercising.. I have all the things I need to do it a balance ball, a set of weights and two feet and a heartbeat.  So I should be able to get something accomplished with that.

I did also have to take a break from Isagenix, the one thing about my job is yes I’m working and yes I’m making money but it’s not enough that I can afford to take a trip for a weekend and do Isagenix so I made a choice in September to not get my Isagenix so I could go on this amazing conference So I was without Isagenix for almost two months and man did I feel it.. I was sluggish and pigging out on so many inappropriate foods like chip and eating pizza, chicken fingers & wedges (homemade) but still I was not on track  I tried to stay healthy but gave into my cravings on more then one occasion.   I was so afraid to get on the scale because I was sure with my lack of exercise and eating junk that I would have surely gained a lot of weight back but I was pleasantly surprised to only have gained 3pds.  So now I’m back on my cleanse I’m on day 5 of 30 and am going to put my health first from now on.   As always I’ll keep you in the loop as to what my progress is.. I’m going to do something else I haven’t done in over 15 years I’m going to have a scale in my house and hope that I don’t become overly obsessed with the number on the stupid thing.   So that’s my health update.

I have a big birthday coming up and I’m too late to do a list of things I would like to accomplish by it that would be just setting myself up for defeat I am proud of some of the things I have accomplished this year.  I know I’ve grown, and I know that some people think that I’m stunted in my growth with not being involved in a relationship, or have a house, or kids, heck even a license at my age oh and sharing an apartment with my mom.  I’m coming to realize that where I am in life is where I need to be right now as I heal and grow and when I am ready for all those other steps I will be doing it with a healthy mindset, I can’t wait for what comes next..  I’m turning 35 but I feel like it’s a rebirth of Tina Marie and that this next year will be my best yet, now that I have the tools in place to accomplish and become the Tina Marie that God’s sees that I can be.  So in summary, by my birthday or the beginning of the year whatever comes first I hope to  have these things done or started.  It’s not a 35 by 35 list but it’s things I think are manageable and won’t set me up for failure.

Things to do by Jan 2012:

  • Start an exercise program where I’m exercising 3x a week, I’ve said it in the past and I haven’t followed through with it but I will keep putting the intent out there and one day it will happen hopefully this is the month.
  • Continue with Isagenix and my healthy eating program w/ Vitamins and proper sleep
  • Get finances in order by getting “Clean Slate” by getting a Consolidation Loan now that I have been employed for 6+months ( will wipe the slate clean and give me a lower interest/1 payment which is the amount I’m paying on all payments and make a difference in my debt amounts.
  • Continue with growing my relationships around me, reconnect with my estranged family members and start contact them regularly.
  • Get contract extended. (Learn when it’s time to move on)
  • Start reading more starting with the books I borrowed “The Help”.
  • Blog more (notice didn’t put a frequency in)
  • Start de-cluttering room by getting rid of 10 things a week or more.
  • Start painting again (bought all the supplies on my trip)
  • Go back to silent sundays or 1 day a week w/no tech and no noise(music, podcasts, tv)
One more thing in case your curious that number I saw on the scale was 165lbs to put that into perspective this time last year I weighed 197lbs.  So I am pleased and am going to keep on keeping on.
Thank you and God Bless
Tina Marie.
Oh here’s a picture of Precious

Back to School

Your thinking what your going back to school that’s great well I’m not the reason I titled it that is well I’m going to start home schooling myself I think that September is the perfect time to start something new or to start something over again, why wait till January.  The kids get a do over us adults can too. So lets see what do I want to school myself in.

Well I’m about to hit a milestone birthday, this birthday bugs me more then turning 30 did don’t know why I mean I don’t look anywhere near 35 but alas I will be in 4 months so It’s time to stop fooling around and get back  in class.

First a brief okay maybe not update of what the heck I’ve been doing..

This summer was great I worked the whole summer but I am working at a place that my job really doesn’t feel like work, I get to listen to music and podcasts all day and interact with staff when need be if need be by MSN Chat.  It’s so autonomous I’m pretty much boss less most days but she’s there if I need her.  I have been able to get home before dark, which has allowed me to walk home from down town at least 2x week or more.  I have weekends off so I have been able to reconnect with family and friends maybe not as much as I wanted to but I have had a semblance of a social life again which is great.  I got to go swimming this year I haven’t done that in a lot of years mainly because of work but mostly because I was too self conscious to get into a swimsuit, still am just have decided to not care so much.  So finances still suck I have a job but it’s just barely paying the bills because just as I started working mom stopped so the income got cut in half again.

Another reason I’m grateful it’s September mom is back to work and starting another job on top of that.  Hopefully I won’t have another lapse in employment because my contract that was supposed to end in Aug has now been extended till Mid October, but after that I don’t know what is going to happen, inside I want to stay where I am but unless we get major funding that won’t be happening.   So it will be onto the next thing hopefully straight away with no gaps and better pay would be great.

So who would have thunk it that I am the happiest I’ve ever been making half the amount of money working as a temp.  Yeah the insecurities and fears are still there but I don’t know they’ve lessened yes it helps to know that soon mom will be matching my income so all the bills won’t be entirely on my shoulders, which will free me up to finally accomplish some goals such as paying down debt.  I hope.

Well I wanted to do a list of things I plan on starting this September yep were 5 days in, so starting tomorrow till Dec I hope to start and continue to do these things it’s going to be one big list because well I’m lazy and don’t feel like separating them into individual maybe another day.  Plus the brain is thinking linear and not in categories it just wants to get it out, not organize the subjects.

Goals for Septemeber 2011 and Ongoing.  (might be repeating from last post, Sorry)

  • Organize bedroom, badly I’ve kind let that go a bit.  I might show you how bad (debating about that one) Start taking 15-20mins a day to clean room that way it don’t end like it is now.
  • Exercise in some way, shape or form 3x a week.
  • Get back on track w/nutritional cleanse follow it to a “T”
  • Read more books/blogs/magazines
  • Less TV big one (fall season starting though and I still haven’t watched most of last seasons shows, so begs that question what have I been watching, oh yeah Australian shows)
  • Stay on proper sleep schedule even on weekends
  • Once determined what finances are ongoing, create a budget and stick to it.
  • Continue to Listen to Podcasts from various Ministries instead of music
  • Start cooking more (Since Mom and I will be both be working f/t time to take turns)
  • Get out more.. Start instituting Date Nights with myself, shopping(window), Library, Movies etc
  • Socialize with Friends More
  • Bible Study, Devotionals Spend at least half hour in AM and again at night.
  • Journal both online and offline
  • Organize Calendar
  • Call Nieces and Nephews more.
  • Organize Wardrobe
  • Become Consultant again in Side Hustle, start generating some income from this.
  • Blog at least 3x a week or more.
  • Be more present in my every day and not worry about tomorrow till it’s here.
That’s a good enough list for now I think.
I’ve made a good start to some of them, so I’ll keep in touch to let you know of my progress.
Take and God Bless
Tina Marie

My Journey to getting back on track.

Okay so where do I start.  If you have been following my blog, you know that in Jan of this year I started a nutritional cleansing program called Isagenix.  I don’t want my blog to turn into an infomercial but needless to say it’s been life changing and finally feel like the Tina Marie I used to be before I allowed my insecurities and fear oh and depression from stopping me from living a full life.  I’m not saying that Isagenix was my cure all there were alot of other things I did besides this but it was the catalyst to getting the ball rolling into helping me and will continuously help me to get to where I want to be at least when it comes to my physical health.

Okay so when I started this program for the first time in November of 2010 I was just taking the shakes twice a day or once a day etc.  It was a sample from a friend to see if I had any adverse reactions to the products before I invested into it.   I didn’t in fact within the first week I noticed a difference and I lost 10lbs in that month alone.  Yeah it was probably mostly water weight but it got the ball rolling and I’m not stopping till I reach my goal.  When I started I weighed 197lbs 3 short of 200lbs which is a lot, but when you add the fact that I am barely 5ft 1″, it’s hazardous and can cause all sorts of problems.. I tend to carry my weight in my hips, thighs and butt.  However at this weight I was carrying it all over.

Okay so lets fast forward to January I started to do the whole system I wish I can say that I’m the poster child for routines but I’m not.  I suck and I’m working on this too.  I am not good at following a regimen of anything so I have not been doing the system to the letter or consistently.. Mostly due to finances but when I am following it to the T.  I am amazed at how better I feel.  My digestive issues have improved, I’m sleeping better, my skin is clearer, oh and my energy is through the roof.   Basically I am a new person and my family and friends have  noticed it and so are therefore encouraging me to continue with it.  I’ve also got some family that have joined independently on their own and are having some great results with it as well.

I have my drive back.. it went away for a bit but it’s back and I am loving it.  So I have lost 30lbs since I started and this is not doing it consistently and without very little exercise.   Which is great I have found since starting this that I have lost my taste for junkfood my body craves healthy foods, I have more energy and I want to exercise.   So that’s it, infomercial over lol.   I have been promising before and after’s forever but I thought I could do one better and show some pics since Aug 2010 till Aug 2011 so you can see the difference like I do.

You may be thinking and I know I thought the same thing that the system I’m doing sounds hazardous because I doesn’t sound like I’m eating much but trust me I am eating more now then I did before this I used to only eat once a day (supper usually and a huge one because I was starving)  Now I’m eating up to 6 times a day.  My 2 shakes, snacks and meal.. I’m drinking ridiculous amounts of water.   Oh and because I have got my digestive system back on track I actually am able to eat a meal and not have to worry that it won’t stay in.  You can check it and it’s properities by clicking the Link.  I’m planning on doing this or some variation of this for the rest of my life.   The way I look at it is that it’s this or spend the same kind of money on ridiculous amounts of meds to keep me going.   I can’t say that Isagenix did all this for me but losing weight and getting back on track with my sleep patterns and starting to exercise certainly didn’t hurt.

So what else have I done people are starting to ask.  I hate exercise but I love to walk so I’ve been walking more, walking home from downtown.  Walking to the Beach.  Just a lot more walking.. Getting outside enjoying summer.. I went swimming 2x this summer first time in 4 years I’ve been swimming in the lake.  Just those 15mins a day or 3x a week has made a difference.

I’ve stop beating myself up, I allow myself a treat every now and then.  I think okay I know that if I got completely on board with this program and did it to the letter that I would see even bigger results like I have seen around me.  It’s like anything if you want to do it well you have to stick with it.  I am hoping over the next couple of months that I will be able to get more active and by my 35th birthday in December in 4 months have lost another 10lbs or more.

I’m not perfect and that’s okay with me I ran out a couple of weeks ago well more like 3 weeks and instantly I wanted junk and because I wasn’t on the system I ended up pigging out a couple of times but the majority of the time I have been doing well.  I’m not ashamed to admit that one night well mindlessly watching 3 versions of Next Top Model I devoured a pint of Ben & Jerry’s If I had a 1million flavours, or that then a couple of weeks later I ended up having chips for supper (All dressed).   That’s okay I can start again tomorrow.  Which I did.

So this month I’m treating it like the beginning of my school year too.  I’m going to get back on track and start following a regimen in my life I’ve already got the ball rolling when it comes to my sleeping and eating habits now onto the rest of it which is the dreaded word of exercise.  I still don’t have the finances to join a gym so I’m going to be home-schooled for now and will attempt to self teach myself till that time comes and I can attend classes.

This months goals are:

  • to start going for a walk at least 3x’s a week.
  • Do at least 20mins a day on the ball/pilates
  • Start stretching in the AM before work
  • Continue to eat healthy till next shipment comes in next week.
  • Stretch at work, get up from my desk more often.
That’s it for this entry now the part that you have all been waiting for pictures.   I have not taken the precaution of blacking out my face, I’m beginning to get less and less concerned about being discovered.  This part of my life I don’t have a problem shouting it from the roof tops.
Okay Pics from Aug 2010 to Aug 2011

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Creating Muliple Streams of Income. Learning not to rely on 1 Source.

So I went to a seminar a couple of weeks ago and something just clicked. The speaker said that in this day and age we can no longer rely on 1 source of income to make ends meet and meet our financial goals/dreams for ourself. He said that we need to start thinking along the lines of creating “Multiple Streams of Income” and a light bulb went off like seriously I saw a light bulb over my head telling me that is your solution to your problems. I mean I have thought about it previously but I was always in the frame of mind that I’ve worked my self to exhaustion before to the point of burn out and nothing is worth me jeopardizing my health again that I was happy meeting the status quo as long as not pushing myself.
However with that stream of thought I’m not getting any further ahead, I’m not stalled in the pay cheque to pay cheque scenario and it’s not working, not anymore I’m more stressed not being able to pay things in full.

I’m sure that you guys can relate, okay most of my readers are over this hurdle and are my constant inspiration and well before job loss I was on my way to being like the other bloggers I read paying my bills I was even offered a loan and was going to use it to go back to school and buy a car, pay debt down, maybe and then life happened and I learned just how much the lessons that I have been taught really mattered.

You know having an emergency fund and savings etc.

I would have been great financially if only for one thing I went on a trip of a lifetime a very cheap trip scrapping the whole way there and back to Orlando Florida to Disneworld/Conference for 10 days 2 weeks before getting fired. I had maxed out all my cards, spent my vacation pay, basically spent my back up plan. Had a great time,  but I would never have done it  if I had known that what happened next would happen again. Can’t live your life regretting things I got to do something I’ve been wanting to do since I was a little girl.

Onto the rest of the year, I decided that I would take full advantage of not working do a lot of things I haven’t been able to do because I was so busy working and it was a great year. Also because I’m tired of working just to work I’ve been more selective about where I’m applying. Anyways off topic, not hard for me.

So I’m planning on now still applying for the great jobs with the great pay as well as the low paying jobs and if need be get two jobs till I get out of debt as well as generate “side jobs” as most personal finance bloggers/planners call it.

So this is the plan get 1 or 2 jobs use 1 to live for basic expenses, use the 2nd job to pay debt and save, and the side jobs are extra that I hope to also use for paying down debt and possibly starting my down payment fund for a house. On top of that I do want to get a degree to go with all my experience and get my license, learn my language(french)

So Multiple Streams of Income:

  • Freelance: hoping to start doing some freelance work if I can find something legit, apply myself to some jobs etc. (writing, typing, resumes, website design(without the programming)
  • Direct Marketing: Started this for me to get healthy and get the IBS under control and if it starts generating me money from referrals yeah for me. I have a website about the product but do not want to disclose it as it would expose my true identity so if your curious  (msg  me and i’ll explain, if you have any questions or are  interested in the products.)
  • Blog: might not happen immediately but maybe someday this could be a stream of income.

One more thing I’ve also considered is that if I help the people around me succeed then I’m more then likely going to succeed.  I truly believe you have to give to get if you met me you would know I don’t do anything for someone, unless it’s going to benefit them for the good and not take advantage of them. I don’t have it in me to swindle.  I’ve been taken advantage of too many times myself, I’ll tell you about that one day, not tonight.

So that’s the game plan for now to really put the pedal to the metal and do what I have to do to pay $12K off this year all debt gone and then decide what’s next from there.

I’m going to start blogging about health, because I’m going to start a cleanse I’ve done partial before and manage to lose lbs but I’m hoping that this one will regulate my system, give me energy and at the same time lose weight, if any one of those things happens I’ll consider this a success.  I have to get this IBS under control can’t let this take over my life.

Oh a small update I didn’t end up going for that interview that I was offered, I know some of you are probably thinking your running out of time beggars can’t be choosy etc.  However I just couldn’t do it something call it intuition or feeling or whatever was telling me that this wasn’t it that I would not be comfortable doing this job.  I’ve done insurance before and I did not like it, and the kind of job I was being offered would not offer me the security that I’m craving in my next job so I emailed them and apologized and told them that the position they were offering was not for me.  Thank you for the opportunity.  The minute I did that a weight was lifted.

So onward and upward and the job search continues, worse comes to worse there’s always Mcdonalds, Walmart etc.

So that’s it for now, stay tuned this is a woman on the move who is tired of living a life of excuses and is going to do something about it, whatever it takes (nothing that breaks my moral code of course)

God Bless and Take Care

thanks for reading

Tina Marie.

P.S. I think I need a new name for my blog, anyone with any ideas let me know. thanks.

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